Over My Head
by ellieh804
Summary: My take on what happens between Cristina and Owen after Henry Burton dies. Story starts around 8x13 episode. Mostly Crowen, but contains a lot of Teddy-Owen friendship. Includes Owen and Teddy in Iraq and Cristina in a very difficult situation in Seattle.
1. Not Alone

She was covered in sweat, breathing heavily and the sound of her scream still echoed through the on-call room. Tears were running down her face, but she couldn't care less about them, when images of her nightmare were still floating through her head, unwanted, but unwilling to disappear.

Cristina sat up and ran her hand through her hair, which were even more messed up than usually. A quiet sigh escaped her lips. "Owen.."

Details of her dream slowly came back to her. "Oh God," she gasped. It took her few more seconds to realize that it was just a dream, just a nightmare. She stood up to wash her face, but before she could even reach the sink, her pager went off. She fished it out of her pocket and the next second, she was running through the hospital halls to the ER, forgetting her dream for a split second.

* * *

When she finally arrived to the ER, she couldn't believe what was in front of her. _Good morning indeed_, she thought when she walked closer to the patient, who seemed to be missing his left hip completely. Also his right hand was nowhere to be seen, not to mention his face, which looked like someone's been chewing it with a real passion.

"What do we have here?" she finally asked after few seconds of observing the case.

"John Doe, attacked by a dog in a park. Dog bit off a part of his abdomen and hip, his right hand and damaged his face. He already coded in the ambulance, but we managed to bring him back. He's probably septic, as he was bleeding out in that park in a dirt for like fifteen minutes, before someone noticed him. It's miracle he didn't die already. Now he's all yours."

Before Cristina could do anything, patient coded. She started resuscitation right away, but even after 20 minutes of trying, nothing changed.

"Time of death, 7:22."

What a great way to start a day, Cristina thought when she headed out of the ER to get a shower after her night shift.

* * *

"No way you saw that guy. I heard nurses talking about him. Does the police know who is the owner of the dog?"

"No, not yet, they don't have enough witnesses," Cristina said when sipping orange juice.

"All I've done since this morning are first year's procedures. It annoys the living hell out of me," Alex claimed and looked at his fries in disgust.

"At least you've done something that has anything to do with being an actual doctor, because I've spent my morning running between charting and daycare, because Zola keeps throwing up all over other children, but we can't take her home, so I have to go there every hour to clean up after her. So stop complaining." Meredith yawned.

Before Alex could've said anything, he was interrupted by the sound of his pager and had to leave Cristina and Meredith alone.

Meredith looked at Cristina. "So.. Have you already decided what to do? About the b-"

"Shut up, Meredith. I'm not going to talk about it. We haven't talked about anything else for the past week. I don't want to talk about it." Cristina got up, picked up a chocolate muffin from her plate and abandoned Meredith at the cafeteria. After the morning, she expected lunch to be better. She could really use something to make her feel better.

She still had a job to do with John Doe, but she didn't go straight to the morgue. She decided to go through the waiting room. As she walked by, she glanced at the TV. There was some reporter blabbing about another government thing. She felt better right away. No news are good news, she repeated to herself while she finally tasted her muffin. No news are good news.

Every day for the past two weeks, she's done this. Walking out of lunch for whatever reason, then making up excuses for herself to go through the waiting room, catching a glimpse of the TV broadcast, then calming down right away. And of course they noticed. Of course Meredith tried talking to her about this, but would she ever listen? No.

* * *

When Cristina was finally able to get out of the OR, it was way past nine pm. She was tired as hell and she desperately wanted to crash right where she was. She was thinking about on-call room, but after last night, she promised herself she will go and sleep at home. She hasn't slept at the firehouse for the two weeks. She just couldn't sleep there alone.

After she finally arrived home and crawled to bed, she checked her phone. There was one missed call from him and one message.

_'I hope you have a wonderful day, beautiful.'_ That's what the text read.

It felt weird to be back in this bed. And it felt even weirder not to have anyone to cuddle to in it. _'Please come home soon. I miss you.'_ This was her response.

As soon as she sent it, she placed her phone on a nightstand and turned the lights off. While she was staring at the ceiling, her thoughts wandered two weeks back.

When she drove them to the airport, it was raining. Nothing special, it rains every day in Seattle. But it somehow made the mood in the car even more melancholic.

Teddy was just staring out of the car's window and Owen at the passenger's seat didn't talk either. They got out of the car without any words. They were saving up words.

Time for words came after some more time, when they had to say goodbye. There was a quick hug between Teddy and Cristina, just a tiny bit awkward, and a long and warm embrace between Cristina and Owen. He buried his face into her hair, holding her tightly, like he never wanted to let her go.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too."

Then they parted. And before Owen followed Teddy, they exchanged one last glance. And in that eye contact was everything. All the words left unsaid. All the feelings held back just exploded in their eyes. This was their goodbye.

Now, Cristina was alone in their bed, praying to whatever God she was supposed to believe in that they both are okay. When Owen told her he was leaving with Teddy for Iraq for a month, she understood. He wanted to keep an eye on his friend, who was flaming out. She understood. But that doesn't mean she wanted them to go.

After all, she wasn't that completely alone in this bed. And as the last night's nightmare came back to her, Owen in a puddle of blood, Teddy bleeding out next to him, nobody there to help them, she doubted she will fall asleep tonight.

* * *

**I hope you liked the first chapter! I'm quite new to writing fanfics and I'm also not a native english speaker (my native language is czech), so I apologize for any mistakes:)**

**Also, the crowen pregnancy in season 7 never happened in this universe.**

**And I promise that this story will get more intresting soon, first chapters are always boring in my opinion:/**


	2. Drifting

Cristina saw that car coming. She saw it few seconds before it hit the ER entrance. She saw it few seconds before it hit her and left her unconscious. She had a few spare seconds to run, to jump, to get out of it's way, she had them. Someone was screaming at her to move. But she didn't. It was like she froze to the ground. And then, all went black.

* * *

One smile can start a friendship. One word can end a fight. One look can save a relationship. One person can change your life.  
When she first heard that saying, it made her chuckle. She wasn't any big romantic after all. But that was many years ago, and lots of things happened in those years.

"I'm not saying that you will _change your mind_. I know you won't change your mind! You've already made that clear to me!"

"Well, I'm glad to know that you get it!" They've been screaming at each other for almost thirty minutes. "But could you please at least _try _to pretend that if you were in my place, you'd do the same thing, Cristina?!"

"I would not do the same thing, because I'm not you!" She leaned against the bedroom wall. "But I understand that you have to do this! Believe it or not, I understand and I don't want you to change your mind and chicken out of it!"

Silence lingered in the air for a moment, until she broke it again. "I fell in love with you. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I just did. And like it or not, we are not the same. We are not the same soul divided into two bodies. I'm Cristina and you are Owen. We are different. But I freaking get what you need to do! So could we please cut this and act normal for just a few more days?! Before you two have to leave?"

Owen smiled, made few steps towards her and cupped her face in his hands. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Of course we argue, there's no relationship without fights.. But you are still my everything at all times. So don't get this with Teddy wrong. I don't want to leave you, I don't want to get away from you. Believe me, I will miss you every minute over there. But I can't ditch my friend when she needs me. She's hurt and I'm afraid she'll do something really, really stupid. I need to keep an eye on her, just for a few weeks. And I promise I will come back to you." He kissed her softly.

She stared at her tiptoes for a little while. The she looked up in his eyes again. "I'm not giving up on you. You're more than worth it."

* * *

"Cristina!"

She could hear someone screaming her name. Over and over again. In an instant, she could feel someone picking her up and placing her on a gurney. Her head was aching like crazy, just as her abdomen and right leg. She remembered hitting the floor and the blackout.

"Cristina!" When she opened her eyes, she saw Meredith's and Alex's face. "Oh my God, she's awake!"

A group of doctors, she recognized a few of them, approached her and just before she again drifted off, back into the darkness, she could hear Meredith say; "You will be okay."

* * *

Cristina was asleep for a few hours. When she finally woke up, she saw Meredith by the side of her bed. "Mer?"

"Hi."

"What happened?"

"Some florist doze off while driving.. You were hit by a car. Don't you remember?"

It all started to come back to her now. "Yea, I do."

"You hit your head pretty badly, but it's a really good sign that you are awake. You have nothing broken, you somehow managed to only twist your ankle. You have some superficial cuts, but we've already fixed that." Meredith was sitting on her bed, counting her wounds on her fingers.

"And what about.. My abdomen hurt pretty badly. Were there any internal injuries?"

"No, not really. I guess it was just a shock from the bump-"

Cristina cut her off. "What time is it?"

Meredith remained quiet.

"Mer? What time is it?!" One smile can start a friendship. One word can end a fight. One look can save a relationship. One person can change your life.. "Has he called yet?"

She looked way and reached for Cristina's phone, which had now broken screen from the accident.

Cristina unlocked her phone. "No.. It's way past seven. He should've called."

"He's probably going to call any minute. I'm sure they are okay."

Cristina put her phone down. "Yeah, I'm sure they are." She paused for a while. "When I was talking about my abdomen.." She paused again, but this time, she didn't seem to continue.

Meredith lightly smiled. "Everything is okay. Really. Most of your wounds are just superficial. There are couple of bruises on your stomach, but that's all."

"I guess.. thanks?" Cristina said silently, not wanting for anyone to hear them.

"You're gonna be discharged tomorrow morning."

"When I.. fainted, my mind was replaying my last fight with Owen. That one, when he told me he was leaving with Teddy," Cristina started slowly. She didn't want to spill it all up on Meredith. "I'm not gonna make that decision withou him. I've already decided. Well, I've already decided even on what to do after I tell him. But I am sure that if I don't let him know, it would be the end. The end of our relationship. So I'm going to go through this. I'm going to wait for him."

Before Meredith could say anything else, a doctor in a pink scrubs walked into the room. "Good evening, doctor Yang. I'm glad you're okay."

Cristina tried to shut her down right away. "I'd rather catch some more sleep, I feel pretty tired. Can't we talk tomorrow?"

Like the doctor didn't hear her at all. "I need to ask you something." Cristina prepared herself for what she was absolutely sure was coming. "Are you aware of your pregnancy?"

She looked at Meredith and after a little while, back at the doctor. "Yes. I'm well aware of that."

* * *

**I hope you liked the second chapter, I'm really trying my best, but I'm quite new to this fanfic thing, like I said before.. Please, go easy with me:)**

**This chapter happens like alternate 8x14, just as the following will be like 8x15 and so on and on.. It will go like this. As you may recall, in 8x14 Owen saved Cristina from the coming car, but as he's not there now.. This happened. And many other what/ifs are going to happen.**

**Thank you so much for reading and I again apologize for my simple language, probably full of mistakes. Again, I'm not a native speaker:/**


	3. Daylight

**A/N: Some of you requested a chapter from Iraq. Here you go, I tried to make it bright and shiny, as Grey's Anatomy is more like dark and twisty. There's much time left for dark and twisty.**

* * *

The sun was just rising upon the medical army base in Iraq, but for Teddy, the day started hours ago. She was up early, just as every day. In front of her friends, she always exclaimed that she's an early bird, but Owen, as her one-in-a-million friend, knew better.

But today, it wasn't Owen who joined her under a tree at the south border of the base. When she turned around, she could see a man with two coffee cups in his hands and cocky grin on his face. "Coffee?"

"Thanks." When he sat net to her on the ground, she continued. "I'm sorry, but who are you?"

The man sipped his coffee. "Careful, it's really hot." She gave him a confused look. "My name is Keith Warren. I'm a doctor here. How did you get to this godforsaken place?"

Teddy was just staring into a distance. The sun was up, coloring her cheeks golden. "Five minutes ago, I had no idea who the hell you are. There's no way I'm telling you why I'm here."

He just shrugged. "Okay then. Would it make you more comfortable if I tell you why I'm here?"

"Why are you so concerned about me?"

"Major Hunt sent me. Shall I start?" Keith asked again.

Teddy was playing with now half empty coffee cup. "You know what? Just drop it. I don't care what Owen told you. Thanks for the coffee, but you can go."

He didn't move an inch.

"I meant it," she exclaimed. "I don't want you here. I don't want anyone here." That wasn't exactly truth. She desperately wanted to ask Keith where the hell is Owen. She didn't want to talk about Henry with a stranger. Teddy just needed Owen. He was the only person who never got tired of listening to the same things all over again. He was the only one, who she wanted by her side when things started to fall apart. He was her first choice.

"He's in the field.. You know. He will be back soon.."

Uncomfortable silence was settled between them so perfectly, that it seemed the two of them were never destined to talk.

The one who broke the silence was Keith. Teddy silently prayed that he will soon get pissed off with her being quiet and he will leave, but that man was really damn patient. "You seem like you have some pretty big trouble." Nothing. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me anything?" More silence. "Okay.. You know that this is not really nice?"

"Well, then I'm not a nice person." Teddy didn't really care about this guy being happy with her behavior.

"Alright then, we will just sit here, quiet." She really doubted Keith will last being quiet longer than thirty seconds. He was annoying the hell out of her.

Teddy finished her coffee and placed the cup next to her right foot, almost touching the fence surrounding the base. It wasn't any kind of a strong fence that would hold people outside, it was more like for keeping inhabitants of the base safe from any animals that would like to wander inside for a snack. She came here to watch sunrise every day. It has always somehow calmed her down and she felt ready to go to the field right away. But today was unlike the others.. With her intimate space being invaded by a complete stranger and Owen not coming, today didn't start out as a great day.

"Fine, Keith," she sighed. "Tell me why are you here." _And I'll maybe consider telling you something about me. _Despite the fact that she would never say it out loud, she kinda liked this guy's attitude.

She expected him to instantly cheer up, like in the movies, but he didn't. Instead, he continued staring somewhere into distance, but after a little while, he spoke up. "My dad was a marine. I always wanted to be like him, just a tiny bit, although I never got to know him."

Teddy almost laughed. "Really? That's all? I expected you telling me something that'd be worth writing a book. Instead of it, you barely said two sentences and expect me to tell you my whole story? Sorry, dude, that won't work."

"My daughter died last year," Keith blurted out. Teddy froze on the spot. She was expecting many things, many reasons, but not this. Definitely not this. Pretending no to notice Teddy's dumbfounded expression, Keith continued. "Her name was Lissa, she was just four and she got hit by a car, along with my wife, while walking home from the shops, and I have no idea why I'm even telling you this, but now you owe me one pretty big story."

She finally processed what Keith was saying, and she immediately started to regret being so hostile at first. So she broke the eye contact with her tiptoes and looked at Keith. "I'm here because work helps me cope with the fact that my husband died not even a month ago in my friend's OR, and I had no idea for hours. No one bothered to tell me. But in the end, she did, she just couldn't stand operating with me and laughing at whatever we were talking about when she came to help me with my surgery after my husband freaking died in her OR half an hour ago!" Teddy was trying her best to hold the tears in, she didn't want to look weak in front of the man, who lost his little daughter and didn't lose his mind. "So I decided to come back here. But unfortunately, I dragged my best friend across the ocean too. I told Owen billion times I don't want him to go. It got kinda complicated, because Owen is married to my friend, who operated on my husband Henry." When she said his name, it hit her like a slamming door. Single tear rolled down her cheek and it required a lot of her self-control to not to start crying uncontrollably. "So not only I ran away from my trouble, I also separated a deeply in-love couple. I'm great friend, ain't I?"

Keith was listening with a concerned look in his eyes and Teddy almost forgot they met not even an hour ago. "Teddy.. Can I call you Teddy?" She nodded. "I understand what you've been through. We've got similar ways of coping with stuff. But don't blame yourself for your friends relationship, it's not like they broke up or something, is it?"

Teddy lightly smiled. "No, they didn't. They would never split up over something like this. She'll wait for him. If you just could see them.. They're perfect match." Teddy's smile faded and tears found her way into her eyes once again. "His queen and her hero." She choked on the last words. She was jealous of what Cristina and Owen had, it reminded her of what she's lost. But she just wiped her eyes and glanced at Keith, whom she now considered her friend. How could you not befriend someone who you open up to? You need to keep them by your side, because they might run away with your secrets and you'd never get them back.

"After we lost Lissa, my wife and I gave up on a thought of having children for a few months. But guess what?" Keith's face lit up. "Kazia is now five months pregnant. It will get better, you'll see."

They remained quiet for a little while, but in the end, Teddy felt a need to tell him one last thing. "Sorry I was so mean."

He smirked. "No need to be sorry, Teddy."

Few second later, they could hear heavy footsteps behind them, probably Owen's. When he actually showed up a moment later, he was surprised they both looked relaxed. "Hey."

"Hello," Teddy and Keith responded in unison.

Owen's next words were for Keith. "Thanks for staying with her."

"No problem, Major Hunt." Keith got up, picked up both of the empty coffee cups and with a barely visible grin on his face, walked away.

Teddy smiled while Owen helped her stand up. "Thank you for not coming, G. I. Joe."

"I see you made a new friend. I thought you'd like him." Owen put his arm around Teddy while they walked towards the main building's direction.

She laughed. "Yea, when you put two people with dead family members together, they usually make quite a good match."

"You know I did not mean it that way," Owen chuckled in response.

It was a wonderful look, two friends, holding each other in the morning sunlight.

* * *

**Thanks to each and every one of you for your kind reviews, suggestions, for putting story in your favorites and following it, I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter:) Thank you one more time, you make me really happy!**


	4. Sink Or Swim

When you're left alone, it's time for doubt and regret to start screaming at the top of their lungs in your head. They always make sure that you know about everything you did wrong and what you're about to, not leaving you even a single positive thought, happy memory, to cling to. Everything bright disappears and you are swallowed by complete darkness, in which your flaws are the only thing you can see. The only thing that matters. And nobody's there to help you, because, after all, you're alone.

After the gynecologist left Cristina's room, shortly followed by Meredith, she had nothing better to do that to stare blankly into the wall and let herself drift into deep, dark, long forgotten corners of her mind. She went over every decision she's made recently, questioning it, considering other ways, better ways. And the thing she kept re-thinking all along was the baby. Before the doctor left, she asked Cristina if she's willing to know whether is it a boy or a girl. She didn't and the doctor said she thinks it's nice to want to be surprised. Cristina couldn't stop thinking if that cheerful, smiley, shiny doctor has a family on her own, a baby, maybe husband? A person simply isn't this happy.

As she was lying in the bed, her mind was with Owen. She hoped he's okay, and Teddy as well. And then, her thoughts focused on what would've happened if he was here with her. Would she tell him about the baby? Would he save her from the coming car?

Her stream of thoughts was interrupted by an incoming call. She grabbed her phone within a second and right away noticed that it was Owen calling. Smile lit up her face as she touched the broken screen and took the call.

Hearing Owen's voice sounded like rediscovering the long forgotten song you used to love and immediately getting hooked on it again. _"Hi, Cristine."_

Cristina softly smiled before she replied. "Hello."

_"I miss you." _His voice sounded just as exhausted as Cristina felt. But sleeping would be so hard without telling him goodnight.

"I-I miss you too," she breathed out. "So, how's your day?"

_"We we've been really busy so far, I can't wait to get some sleep." _He stopped talking for a while, so Cristina could only hear him breathing at the other side of the world. _"It's late in Seattle. You should have a rest, I bet you were busy for the whole day."_

She considered keeping her mouth shut about the accident, but as she was already being quiet about her pregnancy, she simply couldn't lie about everything just because he couldn't witness it on his own. So she told him.

Owen was asking her about details for the next few minutes. Cristina told him everything, leaving out their baby. She bet he had a whole lot of things to worry about. When he was finally sure enough that Cristina's alright, Owen calmed down a little bit. _"I'll be back in a couple of weeks, honey. I can't wait to see you again.."_

Cristina froze. A couple of weeks? He was supposed to be back in a two weeks. She didn't have a couple of weeks to spare. The sooner he comes, the better. Her smile faded. "A couple of weeks?"

_"They need us here, Cristina. And Teddy.. She's not getting much better. She works like crazy, but she can't sleep at night and when she does, she always wakes up in the middle of a night, tears streaming down her face. I can't leave her here. I'm sorry."_

Every single word he said freaked her out even more. She has to terminate the pregnancy within three weeks. It will be too late to back off for her after then. But Cristina didn't want to do it without him knowing almost as badly as she didn't want to tell him over the phone. "Well, any shots on when you'll come back?"

_"Probably in a month. It's just a three weeks longer than it was supposed to."_

Cristina wasn't able to think clearly, chills were running down her spine while she tried to form the next sentence. "Do you have any idea how much I miss you, Owen? It's so hard to live here on my own, I sleep alone, I go to work alone, I'm just alone, so please, come back home soon. I'll wait for you as long as I'll have to, because I love you and you're worth the distance."

_"Don't worry, I'll be back. I always come back. This isn't easy for me neither. I think about you every night before I go to sleep." _He was interrupted by Cristina's laughter. _"No, not that way! I just imagine you're here with me. With one arm around me and your legs touching me. It helps me sleep."_

"You're worth every mile," Cristina said, still chuckling, but with a lot of softness in her voice.

_"Have some sleep, Cristina. You need it. I love you, no matter where.__"_

She smiled. "No matter where." Cristina had to put up with a really harsh impulse to tell Owen that she's pregnant. But in the end, all she did was hang up. "Estrogen," she mumbled while putting down her phone and settling comfortable in the bed.

* * *

She was discharged the next morning. But as soon as she arrived back to the firehouse, she wished she had to stay in the hospital at least one more night. Everything at home reminded her of Owen. Cristina was walking around the firehouse, desperately trying to stop the thoughts. She turned face down every picture of her and Owen she walked by.

In the end, she sat down on the ground at the kitchen counter. Cristina tried to stay calm, to figure something out, to come up with a solution. She would never abort the baby without him knowing, that's for sure. But she didn't want to tell him over the phone, while he's alone somewhere at the other side of the world. It's so easy to hang up on someone when you can't handle what they're saying.

She just has to make an appointment. She can't risk that it'll be too late when he comes back. And it _will_ be too late when he comes back. She's in her ninth week, for the God's sake! But it was really terrible for Cristina to be afraid that when he finds out, they will break up. They will break up, she will lose him if she terminates without him.

It was never her intention to not to tell Owen about the baby at all. She could never do that. It's just hard to admit that you're not as strong as everyone believes you are. Not as strong as you believe you are.

What if she has to do it alone?

* * *

**I hope you like this chapter, I'm working on improving my writing. Thank you so much for reading:)**

**I'm sorry for any mistake or nonsense in my language, I'm reminding again that I'm not a native speaker and it's kinda harsh for me to think and write in English, and writing in Czech and then translating just doesn't make sense. **


	5. Battlefield

Cristina spent the night at Meredith's. They had to spare tequila for the obvious reason, but after a few hours, they both became just as honest as they would've be if they drank it. It was already way past midnight when they crashed down in bed with Zola between them, as Derek was on call.

Suprisingly, it wasn't the little girl who woke them up. Derek wasn't exactly quiet when walking. Frankly, it sounded more like an elephant trying to knock the house down, so when he smashed the door into the bedroom open, all three of them were already wide awake.

"You inspire my inner serial killer," Cristina said to Derek instead of any words of greeting. "You should really get carpets in here, Mer. Soft, furry ones that would silence that just a tiny bit."

"Beautiful morning to you too," Derek whined ironically. "Shouldn't we get you your own bed in here, Cristina? You're staying here every other night and until we get those carpets, I assume the floor is kinda uncomfortable."

Meredith was trying to get Zola out of her pyjamas. "Could you both please stop?"

Cristina ran her hand through her hair as she got up and picked up the clothes she took off last night from the floor. "I'm gonna get a shower. Mer, will you give me a ride to the hospital?" Somewhere between pulling Zola's leg out of her jammies and looking for her stuffed giraffe, Meredith nodded. "Okay then. Goodnight, Derek."

After she left the room, Derek, with a look of satisfaction on his face, finally laid down on the bed. "Is she ever gonna sleep at her place again? She's either here or in the hospital."

Meredith glanced him with a disapproval in her eyes. "I'm not surprised she doesn't want to stay in the firehouse. When your husband is in the war, even the smallest things remind you of him. Just.. We should be supportive, Derek. Just try to understand her."

"I'll try, but not now. Now I'll just sleep."

* * *

Cristina was standing in front of the bathroom mirror only in her underwear, staring at her stomach. She tried to imagine her reflection few months down the road, her with a pregnancy belly.. She pushed that image out of her head right away. That's not gonna happen.

Just when she tried to fasten her belt, someone knocked on the door. "Cristina?" It was Meredith's voice. "I have Zola's diapers in there, can I go grab them?"

This could be her life. Formula instead of blood. Diaper changing instead of a mitral valve replacement. Nights spent awake because of a need to sooth a crying baby, not a necessity to stop a bleeding. That's not the kind of a life she wants. She would've picked blood over formula at any times.

"Yes, come in," she exclaimed when she finally managed to fasten the belt.

* * *

Her day in the hospital went just like always. Everything was back to normal again, like the accident never happened. But slowly, over time, she noticed the rumors have spread. People were not exactly pointing fingers, but their looks were so obvious that even when Cristina was trying her best to just ignore them, it didn't work. But apart from that, everything was the same. She was still walking through the waiting room to check the TV after her lunch, just to calm herself down. She was still checking on her phone every 10 minutes, just in case something might have happened. And Meredith was still trying to talk to her every time she had a spare moment. But she still didn't want to listen.

And the time left to terminate the pregnancy was getting shorter. Cristina spent whole day thinking about it. Deciding if it wasn't better to tell Owen over the phone and terminate, until it's to late. It would be for the best. But still, a little part of her was against that, against the angsty phone call.

As she was trying to make up her mind, Cristina still had to continue in her normal job, which was way more difficult than it seems. The morning sickness became a part of her life and kept interrupting her in her job, just as standing in the OR for twelve hours was no longer that awesome. Not to mention she couldn't get Owen and Teddy out of her head, she was worried about them all the time. Images of them bleeding out somewhere in the dessert were just stuck in her mind. So while walking around the hospital, she had plenty things to worry about, she didn't need any interns to gossip about her being pregnant. Yet still, she found herself unwilling to go and scream at them at the top of her lungs, until they'll be afraid of her for the rest of their life. Cristina just wanted to be calm and have some quiet time to think about how much she screwed up. That's why she started to hide in the on-call rooms, supply closets, at the place she and her friends used to hang out at as interns.. Just to be away from everything and everyone.

However, it wasn't that simple to disappear completely. After almost two hours of charting in one of cardio wing supply closets, Cristina was accompanied by Meredith.

Cristina briefly looked up as her friend closed the door behind herself and sat down on the ground next to her.

"Seriously? That's what you're going to do now? Charts?!" Meredith jerked the charts out of Cristina's hands. "This is not like you, Cristina!"

Cristina was staring right in front of her burying her gaze into a wall. "Nothing's like me anymore, Mer.. How could it possibly be? I'm pregnant! Knocked up, I have a freaking baby inside my uterus! Not to mention that my husband could be dead at this very moment!" She tried to keep her voice down, but everything in her just burst and Cristina was almost yelling now. "And like this wasn't already enough, he won't make it home before I have to terminate, so we will break up and I will die alone, surrounded by my seventy five cats nibbling my corpse!"

Meredith was left with no words of comfort for her friend. She just gently put her hand on Cristina's shoulder. "This.. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, Cristina. The baby. I mean, there's a lot less work with a baby than with seventy five cats."

Cristina gave her a look that could kill. "That's not funny, Mer. This morning, in your bathroom, I almost rubbed my stomach. My fingers stopped like an inch before touching my abdomen. And it scares the hell out of me.. Every second of every day, I'm frightened that Owen won't come back. Do you have any idea what is it like? If I'd keep the baby and ended up being single mother, I would not handle it. I need Owen, Meredith. I need him to make that call."

"Tell him. You two talk together every other day, so what's the deal anyway?" Meredith rose from the ground and offered her hand to Cristina, who gladly accepted her help and stood up as well.

Before leaving the supply closet, Cristina picked up the charts. "I think that's the only way.."

* * *

It was around seven pm, when Owen's name finally showed up on Cristina's phone. "Hello, Cristina."

"Hi. Are you okay? You sound terrible." The bloody images came back into Cristina's head..

"Yes, I am. We both are. But we had a really rough day so far. I could definitelly use few extra hours of sleep."

Cristina wanted to cut the small talk. She was determined to tell him, but she knew that if they'll keep talking, she won't be able to spill it. She will lose herself in the sound of his voice and the only outcome will be another white lie. So she took a deep breath and spoke up. "I'm pregnant."

* * *

**I really hope you liked this chapter:) I'm really enjoying writing this, it's my first fanfiction after all:) **

**I deeply apologize for any mistakes in my language or anything else I messed up.**

**Have a good day:)**


	6. One Day Soon

They met at the Seattle airport, shortly after 9/11. Both of them were in their army uniforms, sitting alone, waiting to board the plane, neither of them seemed to have any interest in talking to someone. Teddy may have not even noticed him, until he asked her, "Did.. Did you lose someone there? In the WTC?"

She turned around at the sound of the stranger's voice. He had determined look in his eyes that didn't change a bit even after she replied. "Yes."

"Most of us did. That's why we're here."

"True. I'm Teddy Altman, and you?"

"Owen Hunt, nice to meet you." After they shoke hands, it was just about time to get on the plane.

Although they spent the whole flight together, talking and laughing, it wasn't until their first action together that they really bounded and became friends.

So it makes perfect sense that it was Teddy to whom Owen came after the latest call with Cristina. It was already midnight when he joined her in her bed with two cups of tea. Teddy moved a bit on the bed so Owen could fit next to her under the blanket. She didn't ask anything until they both were comfortable, sipping their tea, resting their back against a wall. "What happened?"

"I just got off the phone with Cristina. I bet this month's phone bill just went up the roof," Owen sighed.

"Will you tell me what happened, Owen?" Teddy said impatiently as she adjusted her position against the wall.

Owen responded right away, "She's pregnant."

"I'm.. I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. Cristina is pregnant." Owen repeated while replaying their conversation in his head. He never expected this to come.

Teddy still couldn't believe it. "Is she sure? Like one hundred percent sure?"

"Ask the OB that checked her after the accident. Ask seven pregnancy tests she took. Ask every damn intern in the hospital." Owen lowered his voice to a whisper. "She is freaking out, Teddy. She won't tell me anything, but I can see she's freaking out. And I'm gonna be stuck here for another three weeks."

"How far is she?" Teddy asked quietly, not wanting to drag any more attention the their conversation than they already did.

"Ten weeks. The baby is the size of a lime. We have a lime baby."

Teddy smiled and put her arm around Owen's shoulders before she kissed him on the cheek. "Congratulations!"

Owen placed the empty tea cup on the floor and looked Teddy in the eyes. "She wants to have an abortion."

Teddy's smile faded away. She took a hold of his hand and placed her unfinished tea on the nightstand before she rested her head on his shoulder. "Why?"

Owen took his time to answer her. "Because she's scared. It's not easy for her, being all alone, pregnant and having everyone whisper about her behind her back, when they think she can't hear them. She's scared it would crush her career. And most of all, she's scared that she will end up alone with the baby."

"Wait," Teddy sat up and looked at Owen. "She thinks you will leave her?"

"No," Owen cut her off. "She's terrified we will die in here."

The following silence lingered in the air for a long time. Teddy had nothing to say, so they just looked in each other's eyes, until Teddy sat back against the wall and enlaced her fingers with Owen's once again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Owen.."

"It's not your fault," he whispered. "None of this is your fault."

"It is. If I was brave enough, if I haven't ran away from Seattle, you'd be with her. You'd be together and everything would be just fine. But here we are, all whiny and miserable, tears in our eyes and everything is just the same as it would be if we stayed in Seattle, but we didn't! Thanks to me. Of course it's my fault, Owen. I dragged you with me, I practically forced you to come here and leave your wife behind. How could this mess not be my fault?"

Owen pulled Teddy closer to his chest and let her sob into his shirt. It felt like she was breaking apart in his arms. And as much as he was glad he gathered the courage to go back in the war with his friend, just to help her, he still wished he had Cristina in his arms intead of Teddy.

After she calmed down, Teddy wiped tears from her face and sat up straight. "You need to go back, Owen."

"What?"

"Back to Seattle. This is all you ever wanted, and it's slipping through your fingers."

"I'm not leaving until you are, Teddy."

"We're not in the same situation, Owen. You have a family. You have a lime baby waiting for you. My husband is.. dead. No one is waiting for me, no one is crying their heart out because of me joining the army during wartime. No one. But you, you have a family that needs you."

Owen got up from Teddy's bed and collected the empty tea cups. "Let's not talk about this, yes?"

Tears were streaming down Teddy's face. "Owen.. It's been over a month and I still keep dreaming about him. I still imagine him flatlining over and over again." She was whispering, Owen could barely hear her. "This won't stop, will it?"

He sat back down next to her. "No. But it will for sure get better."

Teddy started shaking and buried her face in her hands.

The tea cups ended up back on the floor as Owen laid down on the bed next to Teddy and covered her with blanket. "You have to go back, Owen," she sobbed. "You can have everything."

* * *

Meanwhile, Cristina was sitting on the bed in the firehouse, twiddling an ultrasound picture between her fingers. She specifically asked for the one in which won't be visible whether their baby is boy or girl. It's been a long time since she's done her OB rotation, but reading baby ultrasounds was pretty easy anyway.

She was looking at the picture for hours now. She got it from her gynecologist this afternoon, before she went home and called Owen. And from the moment Cristina got it, she didn't let go of it.

When she told Owen she's thinking about abortion, her voice broke in the middle of the sentence, because she was still looking at the picture in her hands.

Maybe that was the moment when she realized she doesn't want any abortion. That all she wants is to have Owen back home.

* * *

**I know it's been like not even a day since the last update, but since I'm leaving for a vacation on tuesday and won't be back till sunday, I want to publish more chapters. Since I have them already written, it's not a big deal and I'll post one more on tuesday before I leave and then there will be just a few more left before the story ends.**

**Thank you for all the kind words in reviews, reviews feel like candy for me! **

**And thank you for reading:)**


	7. I'm Running

The ultrasound picture was on the fridge for the past two weeks. Cristina tried to not to look at it every five seconds, but failed. Every look felt like a stab, because the baby reminded her of Owen so painfully it always made her crave to call him. And every talk with him brought only more pain to both of them. So they barely talked for those two weeks.

Before heading to work on the first day of her twelfth week, Cristina took the lime baby picture off the fridge and put it in her agenda. It was the day of her abortion appointment. She still hasn't decided if she's going. But if she does, there's no way she's keeping this picture. Owen didn't try to talk her into pregnancy at all, all he said was she shouldn't do anything that would make her unhappy. But Cristina didn't know whether abortion would lead into her being unhappy. All that was clear for her was she missed Owen. That was the thing floating through her mind at 3 am when she couldn't sleep.

Before leaving, she looked around the empty, cold firehouse for one last time. Then she sighed and while walking down the stairs, she checked her phone. Nothing, no missed calls, no messages. For a brief moment, she had an idea she'll text Owen. Just a short good morning text. But in the end, she pushed that thought away and put the phone back to her pocket.

* * *

In the hospital, she put up an enormous effort to avoid Meredith. She took the stairs instead of elevators, looked behind every corner, avoided the patients Cristina knew Meredith worked with and in the end, it worked. It took nearly two hours for Meredith to track her down.

Cristina was on her way to check the OR board in the main lobby with few patient charts in her arms, when she heard her friend's voice behind her. "Cristina!"

"No!" She stopped in her track and caused Meredith to bump into her. "I know what you want to ask, and my answer is I don't know!"

People walking by gave them disapproving looks as they failed to keep their voices down. "How can you not know?"

"Oh! Give me some slack, Mer! You and your perfect little family.. Mind your own business!" Cristina left Meredith alone in the hallway and stormed out through the door to the main lobby.

Meredith was lately really getting on Cristina's nerves. Zola made her go all mommy and constant talking about her first steps or first tooth or whatever is not the kind of things you want to hear when you're deciding on an abortion.

Cristina barely glanced at the OR board, she just passed by and without even looking around, ran straight into the first supply closet she came across.

The charts ended up on the ground and Cristina sat down right next to them. At the hallway, she had to do her best to not to cry, but when she was finally alone now, she just stared blankly at the wall, no tears came out.

Without thinking about it, Cristina pulled up her scrubs and carefully placed her hand on her flat stomach in a desperate need to feel the baby movements. She knew better than anyone else it was impossible to feel the baby this early into the pregnancy, but her brain was sound asleep in that moment. But this was it. That's when she got attached.

The panic slowly faded away and her thinking became clearer. With her hand still at the same place, Cristina took a deep breath and wiped a single tear that was rolling down her cheek with her other hand. After Meredith approached her, the fact that it's her abortion date hit her like a slamming door. She had the ultrasound picture in her lab coat, but she hasn't looked at it since this morning.

She looked down at her hand on her abdomen. "What am I doing?" Cristina whispered. "What the hell am I doing..." She quickly adjusted her scrubs, picked up the forgotten charts and left the supply closet right away, trying to push her little breakdown as far to the back of her mind as possible. She had patients waiting for her after all.

* * *

Day went on like any other one would, but Cristina mostly seemed out of her mind and it was only matter of time when someone will notice. The one who finally did was Alex.

He pointed at the group of giggling interns across the hall. "You see those jerks?"

Cristina didn't even look at them and continued analysing the chart she had in front of her. "I don't care."

Alex leaned on the main lobby nurse station counter next to Cristina. "You should." When she didn't respond, he went on. "What's wrong with you?"

She slammed the chart closed and looked at Alex. "Don't act like you didn't hear yet."

The interns were looking their way. "I did. Everyone did. I've always wondered how gossip spread here so fast."

Cristina finally glanced at the interns. She's never seen any of them. "I doubt they even know who I am."

Alex looked puzzled. "Everyone in this hospital knows your name. You're like a diamond in a sea of pebbles in this hospital, no matter how it pisses me off."

"Yea, but up to this point I was the genius resident." Cristina picked up the chart. All she did today was charting. "Now I'm the dumb-enough-to-get-knocked-up resident."

Alex was staring somewhere behind her. She quickly noticed the change of his expression and asked him, "What's wrong?"

He placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her around. "Look."

She didn't know what to look at for a few seconds, but then she noticed the army uniform at the main entrance. And a split second later, her eyes met the familiar blue ones.

The chart hit the ground and Cristina ran up right to Owen, getting over the fifty steps distance in a matter of seconds. When she reached him, Owen's face lit up with a huge smile, just like her own, and he picked her up. With her legs wrapped around his body, Cristina hugged him tightly while tears were running down her cheeks. Owen ran his hand through her hair and held her close.

When they finally looked each other in the eyes, Owen was still holding Cristina up. They smiled at each other and kissed. The kiss was full of passion, love and happiness. It felt like the whole world around them just disappeared, suddenly it was just the two of them, reuniting after a long time.

Neither of them cared they were standing almost in the middle of the main lobby. Owen kissed Cristina's forehead and carefully released her from his embrace. When she was standing on the ground again, even then he didn't let go of her, his hand was still around her waist, like any closure wasn't enough to make up for their time apart.

"What are you doing here?" Cristina asked him softly, resting her head on his chest.

Owen kissed the top of her head. "I came back." He squeezed her even more tightly. People passing them by stared at them, you don't see a military reuniting with his wife in a hospital every day.

Cristina glanced at the spot Alex was standing a while ago, but he was gone. So was the chart she dropped on her way to Owen. So she let it go and buried her face into Owen's uniform again, breathing in his scent.

And then, suddenly, she pulled away and looked Owen in the eyes. A confused look appeared on his face. "What?"

Cristina took a deep breath before she smiled and spoke up, "I'm keeping it."

"I don't-" Owen paused for a while, confused even more, before it hit him. And his lips formed into a bright, wide smile, reflecting Cristina's.

She tried to say something more, but he shut her down with a kiss. While kissing her, Owen pulled up a bit Cristina's scrubs and gently laid the palm of his hand on her stomach. He couldn't even believe what was happening. Like Teddy said to him, it was everything he's ever wanted, and now it was no longer slipping through his fingers.

Owen picked Cristina up and spun her around few times. If people weren't staring at them till this point, they definitely were now. Cristina's mellow laughter echoed through the main lobby for another not too many spins. After she was steady on her feet again, Cristina shoved her hand into her lab coat's pocket and pulled out the ultrasound picture she carried with her all day.

"The lime baby," she exclaimed with a non-fading smile. "You can keep it."

Owen stared at their baby's first ultrasound in a way that was almost admiring. "Shouldn't we get one that's up to date?"

"But not today." Cristina, after a long time, let go of him, so Owen could pick up his bag. When he did, they enlaced their fingers and walked to one of the hallways that led more inside the hospital. "It's been enough for today."

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter, I put a lot of effort into this one.. You know, I kinda thought that a crowen happy ending would be nice for just one time, as all Shonda ever did was to break our crowen-shipping hearts. (By the way, I honestly have no idea, what I'd do when there'll be no crowen in season 11. I hope there will be some Owen-centric episode with flashbacks? You an't do this to us Shonda!)**

**There's like one more chapter left to this story, but I'll post a sequel about the pregnancy and stuff. This'll be some kind of an epilogue, prequel.. Anyway, thanks for reading!:)**


	8. The Sun Is Rising

"Good morning, angel."

Cristina smiled to herself, when she heard his whisper. Sun was peeking through the light green curtains covering the firehouse windows, and lightened up their dark bedroom. It was a beautiful morning. She was laying on her side and Owen, who was now kissing her neck, was securely hugging her from behind with his palm resting on her slightly round stomach. With a soft giggle, Cristina turned around and planted a kiss on Owen's lips. "Good morning."

After she broke the kiss, Owen laid down his head down on her bare chest. "I'm so happy I'm home." Cristina ran her fingers through his hair. "I missed you. I missed your adorable snoring." He clasped her body a bit more tightly.

"I missed you too." Cristina couldn't help herself but smirk at the memory of last night, when she and Owen got back home from the hospital. Let's just say they skipped dinner, were in the shower for like an hour and when they finally crashed to bed, it most certainly wasn't the end. If they had any neighbors downstairs, they would probably be knocking at their door. Multiple times.

Owen lifted his head and brushed his lips against Cristina's collarbone. He kissed his way down to her belly, where he stopped. Her face lit up with a bright smile when she realized what's about to happen. He pecked her stomach and gently caressed it. "Hi, baby," Owen cooed. "Hello. It's your daddy."

Cristina rolled her eyes with an amused smile on her lips, her hand in Owen's hair. "You know it can't hear you yet, don't you?"

He looked up at Cristina. "You're kinda ruining the moment, Cristine." He softly kissed her belly again.

"Babies develop hearing ability around the 16th week of pregnancy. Now you're basically talking to my uterus."

Owen laughed and lifted up to shut Cristina up with his lips. When they broke the kiss, he laid back down on the bed and drew Cristina closer to his chest. "You have no idea how much I missed you."

Her ebony curls were spread on his chest. "Don't ever go back there again," she whispered.

He sighed and kissed the top of her head. "The real question is, if I ever have to go back again, will you wait for me?"

"Are you kidding? This time, I'd go with you. I don't want to go through this long distance thing again."

Owen sat up and got hold of Cristina's shoulders. "No. Cristina, I'm being serious. We're having a baby. And Teddy's still over there. What if I have to go back?"

She made him let her go and crossed her hands across her breasts. "One minute, you're kissing my belly and talking to the lime baby and the other we are discussing Iraq? Seriously?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I just got back home. I need to know what we'd do if we would have to go through this all over again."

"I'd probably cry my eyes out. But I'd wait for you." Despite the sunlight surrounding them, mood in the room couldn't be more melancholic at that point. "Satisfied? Can we please stop talking about this? I get that you're worried about Teddy, I'm worried too, but I just want to enjoy having you home, Owen."

"I'm sorry, Cristina. Come here." She fell into his embrace and he buried his face in her hair.

"We should probably head to the hospital," Cristina exclaimed quietly. "People are waiting to be cut open."

He smiled, but she couldn't see it. "Yeah."

* * *

They kept crossing each other's paths throughout the whole day. Each and every time, they only had a few spare minutes, so only a quick kiss had to be enough. But when clock finally turned six, they met at the resident's lounge. When Owen arrived, Cristina was alone in there. She's already changed from her scrubs into a simple black jeans and a red sweater. With her coat in her hand, she got up and walked towards Owen.

"Ready?" he asked her, just to be sure.

She nodded and enlaced her fingers with his as they walked through the halls of the hospital to the gynecological department. "Let's just do this and call it a day."

Just a couple of minutes later, Cristina was laying on an exam table in her doctor's office with her top pulled up. The said doctor was circling her abdomen with an ultrasound, trying to find the right spot. Owen was standing right next to Cristina, holding her hand, as they both watched the monitor.

"See! Here, right there." The doctor pointed to the one spot at the monitor. "That's your baby's heartbeat."

Owen was staring at the screen, enchanted. His eyes met Cristina's, which carried the same feelings. He gently stroke her hair and their gaze went back up to the monitor. Their baby's heart was still there, beating steadily, in a perfect rhythm. They both were fascinated by it.

"Could you print that for us?" Cristina spoke up, hesitantly.

"Just a minute, Dr. Hunt." The doctor freezed the screen and moved her chair a bit to the printer.

"Um, Dr. Yang. I kept my maiden name," Cristina corrected her after a moment.

"Right, I'm sorry," she apologized as she moved back to Cristina and handed her the picture.

Cristina looked over it again and then, with relaxed expression on her face, passed it to Owen, whispering, "The baby's okay. It's healthy."

Owen took the picture from her and nodded. "Of course it is."

"We're having a baby, Owen," Cristina exclaimed, sounding like she realized it at that very moment.

All he did was smile at her. "I know, Cristine."

Meanwhile, the doctor unfreezed the screen again and moved the ultrasound on Cristina's belly, muttering to herself, "Is it.. Or? It can't be.."

"What?" They both asked in unison.

The doctor looked clearly confused. When she turned over to them and saw the freaked out expression in their faces, she quickly apologized, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just.. It's very unusual this early into pregnancy, but I can see your baby's gender. Do you want to know?"

Cristina's eyes met Owen's again. His nod was barely noticeable. She looked back at the doctor again. "Yes, we do."

The doctor gave them an excited smile before she removed the ultrasound from Cristina's belly and wiped it. After Cristina's sweater was back in place and she was sitting on the exam table with Owen's hand on her shoulders, the doctor finally said, "Congratulations. You're having a girl."

* * *

**Well, that's it. It's been a wonderful time for me with you guys! This is my first fic ever and I'm glad so many of you liked it! As I mentioned earlier, this is A PREQUEL. So there will be a follow-up story. I hope I'll manage to write the first chapter asap, but I don't promise anything. And I've also got a couple of questions for you about the sequel and I'd be flattered if you could include the answers in your review, if you plan on writing one. Thank you:)**

**One, would you like me to change the rating to M and write graphic sex scenes? **

**Two, is the third person POV okay for you or would you like more if I dove into Cristina's or Owen's head?**

**And three, are you in for longer or for the same length chapters? **

**Thank you so much for reading this story and thank you even more if you answer my questions:) Check my profile for the sequel, I'll probably upload it around Tuesday:) It's gonna be called "Little Wonders."**


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